Urrr, just been thinking about how lovely it is when you you give or receive permission. When you cheerlead for an idea or have someone say ‘you totally know what to do next’. Got 20 mins until a meeting, can I write and publish by then?
I like thinking of personalities as having different parts. Everyday different parts of us come up and lead and affect what we say, what we think and how we feel. Most the time 'me' is in charge.
Deviation: I've heard some people use the classroom analogy (thanks Andrea) and the parent of family analogy (thanks Helen). Another lovely friend uses the idea of a coven of witches that fly together into a clearing, but they're all her.
Continuation: Sometimes a part takes the lead and 'me' becomes quiet and tricky to be/hear. Parts that are hurt can make us experience doubt, self-criticism and injustice. 'Me' can normally remind us that this is a part, 'me' can say 'OK, part thanks but I'm in charge and I don't think that's true'. This is difficult to do when parts are really hurt.
Main point: Anyway, cheerleading is about bigging up the 'me'. Giving the 'me' permission to be in charge, to follow her/his instincts and ideas. Parts are useful to listen to and gain wisdom from - they are like barometers. They can tell you when you've had a button pressed or not paid attention to a festering feeling.
Wow, this is getting rather far out.
Simple conclusion type bit: Another more palatable version of the same ideas is giving people permission to be themselves. Reminding them about their own sovereignty. I think we spend a lot of time doing what we think we need to do (the land of 'should'). Adventuring around the perimeters of my own personality has been a bit of a life long mission. I like encouraging others on their own adventures and seeing their eyes glint when they feel they know themselves better.
(Written but not published in time!)